Dear Parents of Human Children,
When your child asks me if they can interact with my dog and I say, "No. She is afraid of children." That means you need to STOP what you are doing and come get your child. That does not mean your child may come up and get into my dog's face. Your child did not listen to me and we didn't have anywhere to go. We are lucky she is just shy and not reactive. I know it's my responsibility to socialize my dog and I am doing that but it is also your responsibility to parent your child. This is not a petting zoo and my dog is not here for your child's entertainment.
I was polite. I didn't scold the child, yell at the child or say anything mean. Children are generally not my forte and I am never sure what to do or say. I asked her again to please leave my dog alone and told her that my dog was not interested in being friends. The child would not take no for an answer and the parents did NOTHING. They stood there and watched me make repeated attempts to escape from their child and they never said a word to her. They heard me tell her multiple times to please leave us be. They actually went back to unloading their groceries from their car! Leaving me to deal with their child. A complete stranger with a dog. I couldn't believe it.
Parents of Human Children, please if you don't teach them anything else, teach them to respect dogs! If someone says "no, you may not pet my dog" then the kids need to listen and you need to take an active role and parent. Over 4.6 Million people are bitten by dogs every year and I really don't want your child to become one of those statistics. Small children move and act differently than adults, they make different noises and many dogs are afraid of them. It's not just my dog! Not only that, a child is generally right at face level with dogs and it's usually their face that is bitten. Any dog can bite, especially if they are cornered. Being on leash in a dog's mind is being cornered. So please keep that in mind. If they cannot escape from you or your child their options are very limited.
Dogs are family members and if a dog were to bite your child, he/she would likely lose their life over it. Someone would lose a family member over your child not listening and because you didn't do your job as a parent. Your child would probably go through a lot of pain and suffering. Many bites require corrective surgery. I don't want any of those things to happen! It is SO important to teach children how to behave and interact with dogs. It is important to teach them that NO means NO. It's important to be right there with your child if there are dogs present. It's important to parent.
Please, teach your children that dogs in public should be admired at a distance. Just because a dog is in public, doesn't mean he or she wants to be petted by strangers. Not all dogs are safe with children and many dogs are afraid of them.
If you love dogs, respect them from a distance.
I'm busy over here teaching and working with my dogs. If you could do that with your kids, too, that would be awesome!
Now let's imagine a world where all the kids did a good job with dogs and no one ever got bitten! Now that's a place I want to live!
Thanks so much!
Dog Mom of Zoe and Phee.
I've had to put my arm out and firmly shout, "NO" to a child that was coming up to Blueberry without even asking. That stopped the kid short and we turned around. The parents did nothing - probably thought I was being a jerk. Blueberry is also shy and doesn't enjoy encounters with adults or children that just march up to her and start putting their hands on her. I usually avoid certain areas because of this. We used to go to the park in the late afternoon/evenings while soccer practice or football practice were going on - but had to stop because of all the ignorant people. It's too bad people won't educate themselves. Blueberry once walked in the middle of a group of small children that weren't paying any attention to her and she was absolutely fine. It's when they get handsy that she balks. She likes a slow intro and no crazy movements. I'm the same way though - when people think they can just walk up to me and hug me - I hate it. I'll stand there and talk to them, but I need my personal space which is why I am more aware of Blueberry's need of that too.
ReplyDeleteI've had to do that, too! I've actually been told off by a parent before for telling their kids they couldn't pet! She said, "If your dogs aren't friendly, they shouldn't be out." Uhm, no. My dogs are not public property. I was so mad. I was waiting for my husband outside the grocery store, he ran in to get us sandwiches and it was too warm to leave the dogs in the car, so we were just waiting and quietly minding our own business. People are so frustrating!
DeleteZoe is the same way as Blueberry. If the children are calm and gentle she will be okay but she needs a slow introduction, too and she does not like it when kids get grabby. Most of the time she'd rather they not pet her but occasionally she does like making friends on her own terms.
This is SUCH an important message! That video brought a tear to my eye. :-( Unfortunately, this is one case where lax parenting has 2 victims: the child AND the dog. Excellent post!
ReplyDeleteYes, for sure! It's so sad when those sort of things happen and 99% the incidents could of been prevented. :(
DeleteAmen. My dog is not public property. You may not touch without asking for and receiving permission. If I say no, you need to move on, not move closer.
ReplyDeleteI will say that I have been in a very similar situation before. A small child (maybe 3? I'm bad at guessing ages) ran full speed smack into Koira's side, causing her to yelp. Then the kid kept trying to get at Koira to pet. Koira was scared and I was body blocking the kid, keeping Koira behind me on leash. I told the kid to stop. She didn't. I called over to the parents that my dog was not friendly (she is, but she was scared and wanted out of the situation) and they needed to get their child. They ignored me. So I yelled over at them that if they didn't get their kid I would kick her in the face. Obviously I wasn't going to kick the child, but I needed the kid to back off at least enough for me to get my dog out of the situation and away from them. And hey, it worked. The parents came over and got their kid, yelling at me. But I was able to get out of there fast, without my dog or their child being injured.
God if I could give you a standing ovation I would! Perfectly stated and so true!!!! I shared and I hope that parents read this!! DakotasDen
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteThis is great! I'm a teacher and like children just fine but when I'm out with my dogs that is *not* the time for children to come and try to play with the puppy. I really don't mind when someone asks to pet, adult or child. It's human nature to want to interact. But the owner of the dog absolutely has the say in whether or not you get to come closer, pet, give a treat, etc.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, this week has been dog education for my class and we've talked about how to act with dogs in public. I have two dogs that are fine with children and one who definitely isn't (like yours prone to shyness, not reactivity). We have the warning sign for his harness, I'll use whatever words I must and many people still don't seem to understand.
I can't believe those parents let their child misbehave so badly--regardless of it being about dogs or not, if an adult tells a child to leave something that doesn't belong to them alone, #1 they should have already been taught to walk away and #2 parents need to reinforce that.
Thank you! Bless you for being a teacher and having patients to deal with kids every day! It's funny that I have so much patients for dogs but none for kids, although I am trying to get better and I'm sort of proud of myself for not losing it with the kid or her parents. It's really sad, but I run into these situations all the time. It sucks.
DeleteI totally get where you are coming from, in our case I'm training and that means the dogs are working and I want them to ignore what is going on around them.
ReplyDeleteThe difference being that Dante and Ziva love kids, LOVE kids... Dante I have to be careful or he might knock a small child down but he's usually very gentle around them. Being pitties most people ask to pet my dogs I've noticed, it's the rare occurrence where someone doesn't ask. Sadly i've also seen the opposite, a smiling child turn to fear when mommy or daddy picks them up and says something like, "No, that's a mean dog."
So when I see a kid looking at us I try to be the opener and ask, "Would you like to say hi? Dante/Ziva loves little kids."
I'm sharing this though! Great post!
Thanks! Even if they did like kids, I'd probably be wary of interactions because people are so sue happy these days. I've heard of cases where a dog has knocked a child over and they were deemed "aggressive" and the people were sued. I think there's also some weird law in the UK or something about dogs jumping on people. It's crazy and scary. I'd just rather not deal with any of it. Occasionally if there's an older child or teenager who is calm, I might allow an interaction with Zoe but only if Zoe feels like it.
DeleteImportant message! Brilliant post.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWell said! I don't get how people don't parent their children. The dogs are the ones who suffer and it's not even their fault.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this information. It drives me crazy when people don't teach their children to react/approach dogs appropriately.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best things about having small dogs: I can easily scoop them up and hold them out of a kid's reach. I've actually encountered more adults that don't respect dogs than kids! I'm lucky my dogs tolerate all children and absolutely ADORE gentle ones.
ReplyDeleteWhile it's definitely the parents' job to teach their kids, I think we have to take the initiative and work as much as possible with our dogs being okay with children. It's sad we have to cover our asses when we shouldn't have to.
Some people really are nuts!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I could go on and on about this subject!!!! Why on earth people don't realize it is NOT ok to let your kids run up to strange dogs....... UGH!
ReplyDeleteღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
I think I must live in an enlightened part of the world because parents always back me up when I tell a kid that they cannot pet Shyla. In fact, they even ask if they can help us with training in any way. I've been amazed by the good experiences I've had in that regard. If the child seems low energy and dog savvy, I even take them up on their offer, by having the child stand nearby without looking at Shyla, and letting Shyla initiate interaction. I think that helped a lot with Shyla's fear of children.
ReplyDeleteBack when Shyla was more fearful than she is now, I did avoid places where kids were running around unsupervised, like playgrounds. It seemed like those places were too risky for us because parents weren't always right there to back me up.
I'm sorry you live in a place where people are so clueless about dogs. It must be frustrating beyond words.
This is such a great, great post.
ReplyDeleteGreat review with great tips! Even though we own a rescue wonderfully sweet Staffordshire Bull Terrier that weighs around 70 pounds, my 6 year old son is afraid of most dogs outside, especially small breeds. I have been teaching him the beginning on how to read a dog's body language, to always be respect of a dog's space,and to always ask the owner first if he could approach and pet their dog. Safety first.
ReplyDelete