I love how dogs are able to just shake off their problems. Something worrying you? Shake it off! Did something embarrassing? Shake It Off. The other dog in the house bugging you? Shake it off! Mom calls you back from chasing bunnies? Yeah, shake that off, too! Does anyone else have that Taylor Swift song stuck in their head yet? You're Welcome.
I wish it was that easy for us humans! With my anxiety, I often find that it's hard to let things go or just shake them off. I tend to dwell sometimes on the bad things versus the positive things. It actually keeps me up at night and I will often run through the things I should of done or should of said. Unfortunately there are no do-overs and what is done is done. Too bad there are no time traveling devices yet!
The fact that I focus on the bad things sometimes was pointed out to me by one of my trainer friends who I happen to idolize. She said "focus on the good" and "you will create good". At the time this was said to me, I took it negatively. (Of course, I did! Right, because that's what I do to myself.) It hurt my feelings because the thing that I had posted about I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I wasn't being that negative, was I??? After thinking about it for a few days, she really made sense and she was totally right. Why is it that I can be a positive trainer and focus on all the great things my dogs are doing but I can't do that for myself? Then I realized that sometimes I really do dwell on the bad things my dogs do, too. (They are not bad that often but I still do it.) Holy crap. Is there no hope for me?
I think that my major problem happens to be that I've been let down so many times and so many crappy things that have happened that I just tend to expect bad things and so it's easy for me to not see any good. Which I definitely want to change. I've made some small steps to surround myself with people who are supportive and people who get me.
This is one thing that came up when I was interviewing for my new job. How it's so important to positively reinforce the people who are attached to the leashes of the dogs. I've gone to a couple of classes at work so far (which I totally love!!!) and I've found it very easy to praise the pet parents. Being easier on myself is a lot harder! Whoever said we are our own worst critics was definitely right. I need to learn how to let things go and see the good in myself as well as others. I'm going to work on that.
How do you shake things off?
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions. You pretty much described me as well! LOL! We are two peas in a pod! Right now, I've been awake since 3AM with all sorts of crap in my head. GAH! Anxiety sucks. I always try to remind myself that "this too shall pass"...what ever I am stressing about will go away and seem like a stupid worry a week or a month from now.
ReplyDeleteHope your mood brightens!
We sense what you are feeling, so you have to be positive. At nose work school the other day, our teacher told Mom she has joystick control over us. If she moves, we move if she stops we stop. We totally are in tune with her when we do nose work so it is very important for her to watch her feelings and movements. She can be hard on herself too, but you have to try to be positive.
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right, Emma. I do my best to not be "punishing" to my dogs. The whole point of the post is that I punish myself.
DeleteI have the same issues as you. So easy to praise others, not easy to praise myself. It is a work in progress. Reminding myself that most of the time when I do something "stupid" other people probably didn't notice it (or notice it as much as I did) helps.
ReplyDeleteIt's sometimes so easy to focus on the negative. I agree, but it's just as easy to look at the positive too. If we focus on that first it makes the negative not so much.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. Scritches to the babies. ☺
My momma has to work hard at bein positive. Some days it are tuff.
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety as well (a piece of shit, emotionally abusive "father" and extended family that look at you wrong for being from that person will do that :/), and this past year I've really buckled down with dealing with it. Things like a good diet without gluten and sugar, plenty of cardio (walking, jogging, yoga), getting good sleep, and pulling back from bitchy online people has helped hugely. Sort of treating the source instead of the symptoms, almost?
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of it, I admit to putting myself on a reward schedule. When I can deal with something without fixating and worrying, when I can be gentler on myself, ect, I reward myself. A new ebook or a really tasty treat I don't usually have (super rich yogurt, takeout food, new tea) for small things, and real books, dog things, new clothes, ect for larger ones. It motivates me!
I understand completely, I am a lot like you...I can't tell you how many times I lie awake at night worrying about things and going over and over them in my head. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm being negative. My hubby said that to me recently, "Why do you have to be so negative about everything?" and I was taken aback because I didn't even know he saw me that way! I have vowed since then to do better, but sometimes it's not easy!
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