The Girl and the Wasp - Shutting Dogs Down

Once upon a time there was a young girl who was terrified of wasps. You see, her parents used to compete in gardening events and they took her along to all of them. In the summer, this girl has been chased and bitten by wasps, for just playing in the gardens. Over time, she developed an extreme phobia of flying stinging insects.

One year she met her new family and they are very loving people but they don't really understand this girl very well. She's a weird one. She connects with animals better than people and would rather spend hours reading than interacting. You could say she has always had her head in the clouds, dreaming. Her family? They love her but that doesn't mean they get her. The girl's new family loved to have picnics and dinners outside on their patio. Every summer the wasps would come and the girl, she would run for the house, often vocalizing her fear loudly. "GO AWAY, you nasty stinging insects!!!" she would scream. She would scream and sometimes swat at these horrible stinging insects and try to get them away from her. Often times she would resort to having to eat inside the house, with the window open so she could still be with her family.

What did her family do about this? Well, her family thought her behavior was pretty annoying. They wanted to have nice, quiet dinners with polite conversation. They would complain loudly at her and shame her for being afraid. Often times they would tell her that she was "just doing it for attention". They would tell her she was being ridiculous and to come back outside and every time the girl would give in to her fear, the wasps would come. Her family did try some wasp traps but they were never enough, there were always too many.

The girl was VERY embarrassed by her phobia. She hated that these flying insects would make her scream and act out. She was shamed by her family and she was SO ashamed of herself. Often she would wonder why she couldn't just sit outside and enjoy a meal with everyone without being terrified. Eventually the girl was shamed so badly that she would sit outside with her family and when the wasps came she was still terrified of them but she sat in silence, often screaming inside her head, absolutely afraid to move or vocalize her discomfort because it was always met with ridicule. It's not polite in our society to scream and dance around in fear. She was still terrified of the wasps but her family had effectively shut her down. So there she would sit, silently terrified, wishing the flying stinging things would all die and leave her alone.

What does the girl and the wasp have to do with dog training? Well funny you should ask. Every single time a person "corrects" their dog when they display behavior out of fear or anxiety, they are only shutting that dog down. They are stopping behavior without addressing the underlying emotions. You have stopped the dog from moving or vocalizing but they are still screaming silently in their heads, just like the girl and her wasps.

When dogs are anxious in their crates and make noise and their person whacks the crate to shut them up, they might shut up but they are still anxious. Just because you've stopped the dog from vocalizing does not mean you have fixed the anxiety, you've likely made it worse. When you squirt your dog with water or jerk the leash for reacting at another dog, you may have stopped the reaction but you have not made the dog feel better, you've likely just associated your dog's trigger with more fear and pain. The dog learns that they can't trust their owner. Their owner gets mean when their trigger is present. Often times we see reactivity get worse and worse and the owners keep having to escalate the punishment to get the dog to "stop".

We need to remember that our dogs did not ask to be a part of our family. We went out and chose our dogs and we owe it to them to be loving humans worthy of their trust. We owe it to them to use kind, humane training methods. When your dog displays unwanted behavior, you have to figure out what the underlying cause of that behavior is and you have to address the emotions behind it and if you can't figure it out on your own, you owe it to your dog to find a trainer who uses humane methods to assist you.

The girl might have eventually learned to live with the wasps, she might have been able to get over her fear had she been supported through her phobia. She was not and she is still terrified of flying/stinging insects. The girl loves her family dearly but she doesn't visit them as often as she should and she avoids any activity with them that requires eating outside. Everyone has lost in this one. The girl does not blame her family for not understanding her or behavior. It just is what it is. The girl does her very best to never use aversive punishment on her dogs or shut them down because they are scared and displaying unwanted behavior. The girl continues her education and tries her best to be worthy of her dogs and to pay it forward.

Phoenix Makes Progress! Training Updates!

 Phoenix helps with our Reactive Dog Class

On Sunday Phoenix helped out with our Reactive Dog Class. Usually we get to do some of the same activities as the other dogs, we play a lot of the "look at that" game and she generally has a great time. She's usually pretty calm and she actually makes a great decoy dog to help the other dogs learn how to be calm around each other. She does not bark and lunge so having her around not only helps the other dogs but it also helps her. This past Sunday, I feel was her best day ever as a helper dog. She was loose and waggy throughout the whole class, even when one of the other dogs got upset and barked. She did not care at all. She was basically like, "more cheese, mom! This is fun!" Which is exactly how I want her to feel.

Yesterday was Phoenix's second full day in play group at my work! (She is going weekly on Mondays) We definitely saw some improvement from last week with her comfort level. She went outside right at 8am with our drive in dogs. (My boss has a few favorite clients that he picks up in the morning) At my work, when the dogs get there, they go immediately outside, which gives them a chance to potty, etc. Once everybody has arrived, we open the building up (or do slow introductions, depending on if we have a new dog, where one dog comes in at a time) and they are allowed free access to the indoor and outdoor areas.

Phoenix was outside when all of the "drive in" dogs arrived and she did not snark at a single incoming dog. She also did not snark at any of our "owner drop off" dogs or the new dog that started today. She is nervous of the bigger dogs and greetings with them are still a little stressful for her but she is able to move through the group easily without being grumpy.

We actually saw her playing more this week with some of our littler guys. Her favorite by far is Percy, a jack russell mix:

(I called Bruno, the brown one away so they could have a chance of playing)

We did see her do some tracking of the fast moving dogs and wanting to chase and nip (problematic herding behavior) but she was able to listen to us when we asked her to stop. She took food and listened to cues. She was a little more stressed this week when I left the room, my main job is in the front office but an employee called in sick so I was in the play group for a lot longer than I usually am. I feel like that might have impacted her ability to cope without me. My boss still isn't sure if she will be able to hang as a permanent member but we're not giving up yet. Her behavior doesn't seem to impact the group at all and she's very easily managed. We would really like her to be comfortable and have fun, though. 

I'll keep everyone updated with how things go!

Never Say Never! Phoenix Does Play Group!

Do you guys remember a year ago, when I first started my dog training job? Phoenix snapped at my co-worker's dog and I said she would NEVER learn how to be social or do the play groups my work offers? Well... I was wrong. After a year of working at my work, helping teach classes and working with the dogs in our play groups, seeing other dogs overcome their discomfort and fear of dogs, I overcame MY fear and booked Phoenix for a behavioral evaluation. Phoenix has been helping out in our reactive dog classes, which also helps her out, she gets counter conditioned, too. She's not leash reactive but face to face greetings are really hard for her and that's something we don't work on in a class environment. I really want to help her to feel more comfortable when we encounter other dogs out in the world while we are hiking.

Phoenix helps reactive dogs learn to relax!

My boss is a behaviorist and because Phoenix has never injured another dog, he agreed to working with her and trying her with our work dogs. My boss has also spent several months working with me and helping me to normalize conflict and snarky behavior. It's just a part of life, dogs have no other way of telling each other they don't like something and injuries rarely occur. Which is what we've seen with both of our dogs. Although, I will tell you it's much harder watching my own dog get snarky. I can manage a group of dogs all day long and not feel the anxiety I feel when it's my dog.

So her eval day arrived and it was time to take the bubble wrap off of her! Oh boy was I anxious but I am happy to report it went better than I expected. The face to face greetings were hard for her and we also decided she has what we call "problematic herding behavior". She has a weird hereditary drive to chase and nip the other dogs when they are running. With the bigger dogs we saw some snarky stuff because she's fearful of them but our play group dogs are really social and well behaved. They immediately understood that she was scared and they didn't push her. The younger dogs running makes her want to chase and nip but she did not hurt anyone and none of the dogs seemed to be bothered by her. She played with a few of our smaller terrier-type dogs which was great! One of our big grumpy old dogs actually liked Phoenix and tried to get her to play. Phoenix was not comfortable enough yet to play with her but it was cute to see her try.

Here's a short video of Phoenix with Percy. She really likes him! https://youtu.be/PZI_-K0S6ys

These are photos from her first full 4 hour play group:

At first, all she wanted to do was hide in the corner!

BUT, she was comfortable sharing her corner!

Everyone here is sharing the momentary sun!

Phoenix gets brave enough to mingle and sniff Nigel!

My boss decided that we could keep trying Phoenix on Monday mornings and we are hoping to increase her comfort level. Right now she doesn't really know what to do but she did do some playing with a couple of different dogs and that made me happy. I'm hoping that she can learn how to be a dog. I'll keep you guys updated!

Never say never and don't give up!

Positive Reinforcement: The Training Gift that Keeps on Giving!

So I haven't posted on the Positive Pet Training hop in a while. I've been so busy with work and helping people train their dogs, I just haven't had much time for blogging.

This month I feel like I really do need to participate since the theme is "The Gift of Positive Training". Throughout my journey with my dogs, we've had challenges with both dogs; Phoenix with her fear related people and dog-dog issues, Zoe with her prey drive and resource guarding. Discovering positive reinforcement and force free methods was definitely a gift for all of us. We've all learned how to communicate better and Phoenix in particular has given me the gift of patience and extra empathy. Working with both of these dogs has opened up a whole new world for me and they've helped to get me into the career that I actually want to be in. One of my training videos on YouTube actually helped me get my job! If that wasn't a gift from my dogs, I don't know what is!

I've learned how to work through a lot of issues and also figure out how to manage other issues. Recently with all my "teacher training", I am learning how to effectively use positive reinforcement to coach my husband through a new issue that has come up between him and Phoenix.

Phoenix has had a fear regression, she is afraid to be handled by my husband. They were at the park without me around two weeks ago and I guess she ate too much grass. When they got back into the car she started puking. My husband had to grab her to get her out of the car without getting puke all over her and she was traumatized by the accidental "rough" handling. Since that incident Phoenix hasn't wanted much to do with my husband.

Phoenix will not allow my husband to wipe her paws, put her pajamas on or do any sort of touching where something is being done to her. Petting and playing is still okay with her. We are incredibly lucky that Phoenix just tries to flee versus fight. My husband is understandably frustrated with the whole situation. He feels like we've had her for so long that she should just be able to deal with things. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a man where he was wrong and you had to tell him he was wrong? LOL!!! Yeah... that went as well as could be expected. I am also learning how to communicate better with my husband about dog stuff.

Don't touch me!

So I've had to bust out my new-found coaching skills and it's been going okay! I'm trying to my best to pick out behaviors my husband does that I like to praise and coaching him through some behavioral training. My husband gets to do all the fun stuff, like feeding, treats and play time. I've also been coaching him through counter-conditioning Phoenix to him touching her. My bosses and my mentor are tickled that I've been using my calm "client voice" on my husband.

I think with a dog like Phoenix, who probably wasn't socialized as a pup, definitely was not handled and went through previous trauma before we got her, things will always be more difficult for her than Zoe or any other "normal" dog. She took a long time to trust us and in some things she obviously still doesn't trust us. We still have some work to do with her and I think my husband is realizing that he has to be more involved with it. Phoenix has taught me so much over the years and I think she will probably end up teaching my husband a lot, too!

Positive Reinforcement training techniques have definitely been a gift to us! It's the gift that keeps on giving as I am always learning something new and able to continually help my dogs. It's a gift that I try to give to others as much as I can, too!

What have your dogs taught you lately?

A Change in Perspective (There's Nothing Wrong with Phoenix)

For years I've called Phoenix "my reactive dog", "my challenging dog", "my fearful one", "Zoe's evil twin" and basically insert any other words here that mean "difficult". It's true that Phoenix has been a little more challenging than Zoe because of where she came from and because she experienced trauma. However, after working at my work for a couple of months and having a lot of conversations with the awesome trainers I work with, I've begun to have a massive change in perception about my dog. There is literally nothing wrong with Phoenix. There, I said it. There's nothing wrong with her.

Phoenix can be nervous of other dogs and she would rather large dogs not be in her personal space bubble. She's basically an introvert who loves and trusts her immediate family and friends. Phoenix is a normal dog. Not liking other dogs, that she doesn't know, in her personal space is not abnormal. Her level and intensity of reaction to having a strange dog in her space is also completely normal.

I am nervous of strangers and I don't like them in my personal space. If a strange person ran up to me and threw their arms around me, I'd probably snap at them, too. Just like humans, our dogs should be able to say "no" to other dogs as long as they are appropriate about it.

I think as a society we've decided that any time a dog snarls and snaps that it's "aggression" and then that dog is immediately labeled as a bad dog. We need to immediately "correct this 'aggression'" and dogs are not allowed to show any signs of being anything other than our happy-go-lucky companions.

The reality is that dogs have only so many ways they can communicate that they are unhappy. Their subtle body language cues often go ignored (by people and other dogs) so then they have to escalate to get the message across. People think that dogs are being aggressive when the reality is that they are just displaying agonistic behaviors, social behaviors, that are completely normal. These dogs only want to achieve one thing "give me space". That is not aggression. How else are they supposed to communicate to another dog who isn't listening to back off and that they don't like what that dog is doing?

True aggression is defined as "intent to cause harm" and "inflicting damage on another individual". In all the time that I've had Phoenix (going on 4 years) and in the context of greeting other people's dogs, she's never injured a single one by being snarky. She's never drawn blood and she's never left a single mark on another dog. That is not us getting lucky. If a dog truly wants to do damage or hurt someone, they can and will. Most of the time, dogs know exactly how strong their jaws are and they know exactly where they are placing their mouths. If a dog air snaps and misses you, they meant to miss you. If a dog bites you and gets you, they meant to bite you. By being snarky (and seriously inhibited snarky, at that), all Phoenix wants to achieve is telling the other dog that she needs space or that the way they are interacting with her is inappropriate. (IE: Male dog trying to hump her). Phoenix displays behaviors related to avoidance, behaviors that only mean she wants distance. 9 times out of 10 when we go to the off leash park, she will choose to get away from another dog versus greetings and interactions. Phoenix is not an aggressive dog and she does not have any intention to cause harm or inflict damage. She just wants her personal space bubble respected. We can't blame her for that.

In the past there have been three injuries to other dogs in relation to play, two of them were caused by Zoe and only one might have been caused by Phoenix. Zoe used to get very over-aroused during play and she would play too rough. She caused scratches to two separate dogs, both belonging to friends. Phoenix may have nipped a dog during a game of chase but every dog was chasing the dog that was running and nobody saw which dog nipped her. Unfortunately, these sorts of things can literally happen to anyone who goes to the dog park. Play injuries are more common than anything else. Dogs get banged up playing with each other. It's a thing.

An appropriate, face-to-face greeting.

So what does all of this mean? Am I going to stop training my dog? The short answer is no way! I'm still going to do everything I can to make sure that Phoenix has good interactions with other dogs. Just this past week we went on a nice long walk with my co-worker and her dogs. The dog that a few months ago, Phoenix snapped at. At the beginning of the walk, Phoenix partially displayed her teeth exactly one time. She didn't snark or snap, just lifted her lip and only slighly. By the end of the walk, they were all walking side by side. I'm hoping we can do these sorts of walks on a regular basis because my co-worker's dogs are so calm and they are perfect helper dogs. The more positive interactions Phoenix can have where she doesn't have to display agonistic behaviors the better.

Basically, I am just removing the labels I've put on my dog. I'm not going to stop training. We live in a society where there's a dog and a person around almost every corner. Being prepared and having training to deal with those situations is extremely important.

When I first got Phoenix, I decided and committed to dealing with her and training her as if she was a normal dog. Somewhere along the way, I lost that when I decided to label her as reactive. We could literally label every single dog that has ever lived as reactive. Every dog has at one point or another displayed behavior we could call "reactive". I really want to be done with labels as much as possible. Labels don't describe behaviors. Labels don't train behaviors, either. I've even stopped speculating with people on what breeds my dogs are. I'm just over it.

I've realized that I've become fearful of other dogs and other dog owners because of people marching their "rude" overly enthusiastic "must greet everyone" dogs into her face and her reactions to that. Social pressure made me decide that she wasn't normal and I was scared of what other dog owners would say or think about her. I was scared of confrontation with other dog owners. I've come to realize that my dog is normal and that it's not her fault our society thinks all dogs need to be friendly with each other, that all dogs must greet every single dog they meet.

So what can you do to help other dog owners? My best advice is to give other dogs and owners as much space as possible. Assume all dogs you come across are unfriendly until proven otherwise or the other owner gives you their permission to approach with your dog. Avoid on-leash greetings with other dogs if you can. Leashes make dogs feel trapped and they are more likely to be uncomfortable and display behaviors that mean "give me space". Teach your dog to be neutral to other dogs and to ignore other dogs as they are passing. If you see someone working with their dog alone in a field when there's a dog park 5 minutes down the road, assume that their dog does not want to be friends with your dog. Leave them alone and don't unleash your dog on them or trudge through there. Lastly, never force your dog on other dogs and people. They definitely do not need to meet every single dog or person they see and it's best to start training them for that as soon as you can.

My journey with Phoenix is far from over and we still have a lot of training to do but I really need to celebrate all her successes and how far we've come. She's an awesome little dog, she loves to train and play with me. She's the best snuggler a person could ask for and really she's just a regular dog. She's so fun and happy, she loves belly rubs and a warm blanket just like any other dog. I'm really glad that I have her in my life. 

Disclaimer: I do work for a dog training facility but none of my posts are endorsed by the owners. All opinions and experiences are my own.

Littermate Syndrome and the Importance of Getting Dogs Out Separately

When I was thinking about getting a second dog, someone told me "two are easier than one!" She was wrong, SO wrong. Let me tell you, two are not easier than one, especially if you get two littermates. (My two dogs are NOT littermates.) Sure, having two dogs and watching them cuddle and play is wonderful but it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Let me explain. Two dogs are actually three times the work! Each dog needs separate walks and training sessions but they also need to walked and trained together!

In the past, I didn't do so good with the separate walks and outings. The past few weeks I've been trying to get better about it and I've been walking the girls separately in the afternoon. When we first got Phoenix we took her wherever Zoe went and she learned a lot of things from Zoe. Zoe taught her that not all strangers are evil and not every dog is bad. It's been really good for her but I've also recently learned that she depends on Zoe for her confidence. She's is very unsure of what to do without Zoe around. Zoe does a lot better than Phoenix on her separate walks. We had a few moments of "hey, where's the other one?" but Zoe was mostly fine and actually happy to be out by herself.

We hung out together, played and did tricks!

Littermate syndrome is a real thing. I've seen it in client dogs and we are experiencing a mild form of it when the girls are separated. There are different types of littermate syndrome and your dogs don't actually have to be littermates to have it. It can happen with family dogs just as easily. I generally don't recommend getting two puppies at the same time but sometimes it can work out if the family is dedicated enough. Each dog needs individual time with the owner and the puppies should be separated every single day. Teaching dogs that it's okay to be alone should be a part of everyone's training program.

One type of littermate syndrome that is common between two female puppies (it can happen with male/females and male/males but it's not as common as female/female) is hate for each other. This happens all the time. The dogs were fine when they were little then suddenly they got older and they were no longer fine. People go on dog forums and contact trainers to find out what they should do and usually it is recommended that one of the puppies finds a new home. I'm not a big fan of crate and rotating but that can be an option for some people. I've personally seen serious fights between two female dogs who grew up together and most of the time they required a vet to patch them up. If the dogs have decided that they hate each other and they are fighting, please get a pro trainer or behaviorist to help you.

Don't take my sister away!

Another form of littermate syndrome is hyper-attachment and depending on the severity you might need a pro trainer here as well. If you can't take one dog away from the other without them freaking out, you have a hyper-attachment problem. It's a lot like separation anxiety and I've heard of some cases where one dog was removed and another destroyed an entire door trying to get out to find them. Or barking and screaming endlessly. This is not healthy. At some point in your dogs lives, they might need to be separated. One of them might get sick and have to stay at the vet hospital. You might have to take them to the groomer and they need to be crated separately for their safety. At some point they may need to be apart and preventing an anxiety attack is important.

When you have multiple dogs, you should be doing separate walks, separate training sessions and they should each have one on one time with you. When we got Phoenix she was so skittish of us that we relied on Zoe to help us out with her. We needed Zoe to show Phoenix that she could trust us. I did separate training sessions with each dog but I didn't do a whole lot of separate outings. It was a mistake and I'm lucky they are not hyper-attached to each other. They both experience some mild anxiety when the other dog leaves. I think the anxiety on Zoe's part is more that she wants to go and she can't. Zoe is actually fine if I leave her with a stuffed kong and she is able to eat. Phoenix is very attached to both Zoe and myself and is definitely upset that I'm taking Zoe away. She will not take a stuffed kong and she doesn't want any other special treats either. She is better if I stay home with her and it's my husband who is leaving with Zoe.

I love separate walks with mom!

So what do you do with a dog who freaks out when the other dog leaves? I'm treating it just like separation anxiety and we are doing a separation anxiety protocol. The link I provided goes into great detail on how to work with the dog and it's an amazing article. There's also a great video by Kikopup on training your dog to love being alone and you can find it here: How To Train Your Dog to be Left Alone

With doing the training, it can sometimes take me a little while to get out the door with Zoe but I'm noticing that Phoenix is less worried about it. She's not thrilled that we are leaving without her but she does okay. When we started this training I began with very short outings with Zoe. We would go out and come right back in and then I gradually increased the time we were gone. I'm hoping that by continuing to do this, Phoenix will be confident going out into the world without Zoe and also be okay with staying home when I take Zoe. I'm wanting to do dog sports eventually with them and they would likely be attending separate classes so this is a really good start.

If you have multiple dogs, I would highly recommend doing the separation training. It's good for them and they need one on one time with you. I've been loving spending time with each of my dogs on our own and we've been having fun. I always feel a little guilty right as I'm leaving but it passes pretty quickly.

If you have any questions or need help, feel free to email me. I also have additional resources on my training page.